Sunday, August 21, 2005

Cross-post: Continuing the "Why BlogHer is not passe" theme

From my Personal Blog: Some press coverage of a recent conference shows why it's more than speaker rosters that BlogHers need to take note of.

Comments:
One of the biggest problems with working with women is getting them to support one another (I know a bit about this from attending a women's college). How do we begin to respect and mentor one another without being jealous of one another? How do we not get ourselves stuck in snarky little pissing contests (as can happen)? One thing I think we should all remember is that in the blogosphere, there is alot of room for others who may be thinking the way we are (because, as it is, there's really only a handful of us) and that it's not competition but support when we discover someone who's on the same wavelength as us. And, we could stop competing for the Alpha Males--stop with the hero worship. Take pride in what we've done and approach them as equals, not as conquering heroes. It takes confidence and a bit of ego to do it, but it's fun when it happens!
 
I have to say that I think women get a bad rap from women in this regard. I have had male and female colleagues. When a man is a jerk no one's first thought is that it's hard to work with men in general...it's much easier to individualize someone who is in the majority.

Once someone represents a minority, of any kind, and misbehaves...suddenly they're representative of whatever minority group they represent. That's quite a burden, and an unfair one.

I've had far more snarky pissing contests with men, than with women I can tell you :)
 
Hey Jen: I don't even get that influential woman's request, given that Pirro is running in the other party. So if she won the nomination of her party and ran against Clinton it still GUARANTEES a woman will hold the office.

I'm not sure I buy that women are responsible, via their behavior, for all conflicts between women being called "catfights." I am not ready to "own" that one! :)

For a really inane example: when Alexis and Krystal physically fought on Dynasty, that was called the uber-catfight. Yet, in its very physicality wasn't it quite different from the "catfights" that involve cutting, backstabbing remarks? And probably anything that goes on between Clinton and Pirro will be given the moniker "catfight"...regardless of form or substance.

"Catfight" is another one of the not-so-subtle "code words" like "perky" or "sassy" or "histrionic." (Despite the roughly equivalent number of male and female cats in the natural world.) It is applied to any women who dare to meet conflict head-on.

I agree absolutely that competition is good, managing conflict is good, and that we all should learn to do that.

But looking only inward at our behavior and adjusting it won't improve the environment for women...we have to look outward and shine a light on archaic attitudes and messages when we find them.
 
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